First the tears, now the laughter

England’s dismal performance has sparked a series of England World Cup jokes. Nothing much to do with skiing and snowboarding but so what!


We have mentioned the World Cup a few times on PlanetSKI.

First when many teams trained out in The Alps ahead of the tournament and then when we found out that skiing is on offer in Southern Africa at the moment.

We reported on the massive celebrations that erupted in Switzerland when its team beat the favourites Spain.

Now it seems only fair to share a few England World Cup jokes doing the rounds…..

– David Blaine is reportedly furious after England crashed out of the World Cup – his record of doing absolutely nothing in a box for 42 days was broken by Wayne Rooney.

– The England team visited an orphanage in Cape Town today. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,” said Jamal, aged six.

– I’ve just won two tickets to see the England team. Do you want to come with me? We’ll catch the bus to Gatwick Airport on Thursday and watch them come home.

– I hear Oxo are making a new product. The packaging is white with a red cross and they’re calling it the laughing stock.

– What’s the difference between the England team and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

– Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping. He stopped and asked, “Can you manage dear?” To which the old lady replied: “No way. You got yourself into this mess. Don’t ask me to sort it out!”

– What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A referee.

– Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room – Robert Green was guarding the door.

– I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten. . . . I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian.

– What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches off the Play Station.

– What’s the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.

– What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.


And we have just been sent these all about Robert Green….

* Before he got into football, Robert Green was a bus driver. But he got fired because he couldn’t make any stops.
* Why is Robert Green like ITV HD? They both switch off at the crucial moment.
* Yesterday at London Zoo one of the staff let a a Central American monkey slip out of his grasp. So Robert Green’s not the only English keeper to drop a Howler.
* What does Robert Green do after winning the World Cup? Drops his controller.
* Robert Green has just been refused a Savings Account in his Local Bank
* At least that’s one British spillage the Americans won’t be moaning about…
* All these Rob Green jokes are getting out of hand…In fact they’re crossing the line
* Kermit was right: It’s not easy being Green.
* The England lads had a get-together after the game and bought Robert Green a drink to commiserate. He spilled it.
* Steven Gerrard said: “The whole team is behind Rob Green.” With hindsight, that’s a good place to stand.
* My computer’s got the Robert Green virus. It can’t save anything.